


The Zombie Ninja Apocalypse Survivors Club

by igrockspock



Category: The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Angst, Bechdel Test Pass, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Trick or Treat: Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-03 23:16:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12156795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igrockspock/pseuds/igrockspock
Summary: Misty thinks her new bionic arm might be evil.





	The Zombie Ninja Apocalypse Survivors Club

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wnnbdarklord](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wnnbdarklord/gifts).



Girls night at the hospital went south after Misty crushed eight cans of beer in a row. They lay in forlorn, crumpled little heaps alongside the bed, spewing little puddles of amber liquid onto the floor. The room smelled like the drunk tank at 3:00 a.m. on the night of a full moon. The difference was, nobody’d gotten anything to drink.

Feeling resolute, Misty leaned down with her good hand and plucked the ninth can of beer from the 12-pack Colleen had sneaked in.

Claire swiped it before Misty had the chance to smash it with her gleaming new bionic hand. “That’s enough of that now,” she said mildly, popping the tab and handing it back to Misty. “You keep smashing beer in here and we’re going to get busted.”

Misty sank back in defeat. She wanted to wad up her fists and pound the wall in frustration, but punching a hole through it seemed sure to bring the night to an awkward and abrupt end. The others didn’t know it, but this was her second hospital bed of the day; she’d squeezed the handrail by accident and it had crumpled under her grip.

“What if it’s evil?” she asked, eying the arm doubtfully. Light glinted off its coppery surface.

“The arm?” Claire asked. “Are you serious?”

“Hell yes,” Misty said, keeping the hand carefully flattened by her side.

Claire popped opened her own beer can and rolled her eyes. “An evil hand is not a thing.”

“Funny, I always thought an army of undead ninjas was not a thing. Till one of them cut off my _arm,_ ” Misty pointed out. The way her luck was going lately, she would the one person in the whole world with an evil arm.

“Technically, I think they were immortal, not undead,” Colleen piped up. She was curled on the window sill, staring out at the gray sky. Privately, Misty thought Colleen was fucked up worse than her, arm or no arm. 

“That is so not the point of this conversation,” she said, trying to balance her beer in her left hand. She was getting better at it.

Claire perched on the edge of the bed so she could look Misty in the eye. “You’re seriously worried about this, aren’t you?”

Misty tried not to fidget under Claire’s gaze. She had a way of seeing through people, and she was _nice_. Both made her uncomfortable. “I lost my arm, and now there’s this _thing_ wired into my brain. How do I know this is really a good idea?”she asked, deciding at the last minute not to mention that her shiny new hand had disemboweled a teddy bear this morning.

“Well, Danny _was_ involved, so I see your concern,” Claire conceded.

Colleen shot them a sharp look, then shook her head. “I really can’t defend his planning skills, but trust me, signing the check was the limit of his involvement.”

Misty looked at Claire. “That sound reassuring to you?”

Colleen sighed. “Alright, how’s this? I don’t think your arm is evil, but if it is, I promise to cut it off.”

“Really?” Misty asked. Some of the tension slid out of her shoulders at last.

Colleen nodded. “My teacher cut off your arm while he was trying to cut off Claire’s head. Amputation is the least I owe you.”

Claire looked back and forth between them. “I get to laugh at this, right? Because you’re both being intentionally weird?”

Colleen looked back at Misty. She tapped her fingers against a beer can, but never actually opened it. “I hope to be able to help you in a different way, but if your arm is really evil, I’ll get the job done. Whatever it takes,” she said, looking resolute.

“Thank you,” Misty said. She really meant it. When it came down to it, she didn’t really think her arm was evil either, but she was quickly learning the importance of having a backup plan for everything. Really. _Everything._

“I can’t believe the two of you,” Claire muttered, reaching for her purse. It was stuffed with a thick bundle of papers. “Look, Misty, there’s a scientific explanation for this. Your arm is part of a complex neurological-robotic interface. The receptors in your hand haven’t learned to decode all of your brain’s commands yet. That’s why it knows how to grip, but not how hard. In a few more days, you’ll stop smashing things.”

“I know,” Misty said. The gleaming hand lay obediently on top of the sheets. “It just doesn’t feel like part of me yet. I mean, I know I should be elated, but it’s just weird.” 

Colleen came to stand beside her. “If I could trade places with you, I would.”

Misty shook her head. “Quit it. I can’t pretend I understand your relationship with Baku-whatever, but last time I looked, he was the one trying to behead people. It’s not your fault.”

“If I had killed him when I had the chance --”

“Do you know my partner turned out to be dirty? Twelve years on the force, and I knew him from day one. I thought I knew everything about him. I was wrong, and don’t think I didn’t lose sleep over it. But at the end of the day, we’re not responsible for anyone’s actions but our own. I didn’t lose my arm because of you. I lost my arm because I was doing my job.”

Claire was sitting in the chair in the corner, her long legs dangling in front of her. At some point, she’d opened another beer. “Is it weird if I clap for your speech? Because it was a really good one.” She opened Colleen's beer and added, “You should listen to her. And also relax. Have a drink.”

Colleen settled hesitantly on the end of the bed, and Misty thought she wasn’t used to having friends. Misty wasn’t the sort to take in strays, but for a fellow survivor of the immortal zombie ninja apocalypse, she thought she could make an exception.

Squeezing Colleen’s shoulder seemed like a dangerous proposition, so she poked her with her toe instead. “Hey, for the record, if I had to go through that, I’m glad it was with you.” She looked back at Claire and waved her over. “You too. That’s the second time you saved my life.”

Claire raised her beer can in a solemn toast. “To surviving, and never going through anything like that again.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Misty said, taking a long gulp of her beer.

Colleen took a drink but shook her head. “You know weird shit’s just going to keep finding us, right?”

Claire winced. “You know, the way my last couple years have gone, that’s probably true.”

“My turn for a toast then,” Misty said, raising her beer high. “To always having each other’s backs.”

Claire clinked her beer against Misty’s. “Amen to that.”

Misty poked Colleen with her toe again. “You in?”

This time, Colleen managed a smile. “Anytime you need me. Beer and amputation of evil appendages as needed.”


End file.
